


Project Beard

by Sophia_Bee



Series: Charles and Erik: Man on The Train [10]
Category: X-Men (Comicverse), X-Men (Movieverse), X-Men - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Beards, Boys In Love, Dirty Talk, Erik is a Troll, Honestly Charles What Are You Thinking, M/M, Marriage, Mutant Husbands, Ridiculous, Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-21
Updated: 2016-11-21
Packaged: 2018-09-01 08:58:20
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,526
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8617876
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sophia_Bee/pseuds/Sophia_Bee
Summary: Charles decides Erik growing a beard might not be a bad idea after all, but he can't tell ERIK that.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you to my dear **Leafeylocket** , who not only puts up with my head canons but reads them when they become ridiculous silly stories about beards and fixes my apostrophes.

“I don’t know how you can stand it.”

One of the players drives the basketball down the court and the crowd stands up from their seats. Instead of answering Charles, Scott stands as well and yells something about offense. He sits back down and looks at Charles.

“Stand what?”

“The beard.”

Charles can’t really say Logan’s beard. He can barely stand the mountain man ingrate as it is, so uttering his name is out of question. He has actually taken to calling him The Beard to Erik as they are getting ready for bed and Charles is ranting about Logan and how much he can’t stand him. On more than one occasion Erik has mentioned that if he didn’t know better, he might be jealous.

“Oh,” Scott says. The sharp planes and angles of his face actually flush and Charles looks at him with curiosity. Is Scott Summers actually embarrassed? After what feels like a longish pause, Scott smiles. “I stand it. I stand it quite well.”

_Shit._

That brings Charles’ inquiry about the beard to a sudden halt, because the last thing he wants to hear about is his ex’s sex life. Still, he can’t shake the way Scott’s cheeks flushed at the mention of the beard, and suddenly Charles realizes he might be missing out on something.

It’s not like he can go back on his numerous threats against Erik and his insane desire to grow a beard. Charles thinks about this the next day as he’s lying in bed, staring at the pattern the morning sunlight makes on their ceiling, Erik snoring softly besides him. There is a lot of risk involved. All of them seem to involve Erik. Erik being right about the beard would be unbearable. He’s not sure how many months and how many blow jobs would be accompanied by constant reminders of how wrong Charles was about the beard. Plus if Erik ever found out that Charles changing his mind about the beard came from Scott, Charles would never find out what Scott was talking about. No, if Erik was to grow a beard he had to think it was his idea and his alone.

Erik stirring distracts Charles from his plotting.

“Mmmmmmm…” Erik moans. “Sunday, right?”

“You stink,” Charles responds, taking in the musky, sour smell of sleep, also knowing that insulting Erik’s hygiene might result in a shower and Sunday showers often turned into Charles being fucked against the shower wall.

Erik rubs his eyes and stretches then turns and offers Charles a smile. Charles’ heart melts a little and suddenly he's struck by the sweetness of his husband, who never fails to look at him as if he somehow makes the sun rise. He’s far from perfect. If only he’d stop leaving his socks on the floor, and stop using Charles’ towel now and then. But he’s also genuine and steadfast, and is perfect in all the areas that count. Now, if he could only get his big stinking man into the shower.

“What do you think about a container garden on the patio?”

Charles stops picturing Erik eating out his ass and stares at his husband. His crazy husband.

“Um, sure?”

“Because when the baby comes, might want to give him homemade baby food and moving to a farm seems a bit much.”

“Farm?” Charles echoes, wondering how he had gone from fantasizing about shower sex to farm life.

“Although Sharon was thrilled at the idea of us moving closer. Then there’s the commute…

“My mother????” Charles manages to squeak.

“But that could be mitigated by your ass in overalls.”

“I am NOT wearing overalls!” Charles sputters. “Did you tell my MOTHER…”

“Then I was talking to Angel…”

“...that we want a baby....wait...talking to Angel!”

“Well emailing. She said that container gardens are all the rage.”

Charles rolls over and climbs on top of Erik. Erik stares up at him and smiles again just before Charles places a chaste kiss on his husband’s dry lips. He stares down into the pale blue eyes, his mind still rolling around how he can manage to trick his husband into growing a beard.

“Is there anyone in my life that you don’t talk to regularly?” Charles asks, grinding his hips down softly.

“Uhhhhh, no? I mean, Scott. Not sure he could actually hold a decent conversation…”

Charles curls his hips forward again and is rewarded with a groan. Erik has managed to charm pretty much everyone around Charles. He’s Raven’s favorite babysitter. Sharon invites him to all the dog club soirées. Now it seems he and Angel are trading gardening tips.

Charles dips his head and kisses his husband a second time.

_Angel._

Erik returns his kiss, this time with definite interest. Charles breaks away as a plan starts to percolate in his head.

“Shower sex?” Erik pants, looking up at Charles. Charles smiles. Plotting can wait for a little while.

“I thought you’d never ask.”

 

* * *

 

“What do you want?”

Charles toes his man clogs and holds out the coffee again. He grins as Angel looks at him through narrowed eyes.

“I got your favorite. For my favorite coworker.”

“Listen Xavier.”

“Quad, breve, all the bells and whistles.”

Angel rolls her eyes and takes the coffee, then sets it next to one of the computers at the nurses’ station. She puts her hands on her hips and levels a glare at Charles.

“I have to give bed three pain meds, Xavier. This is not over.”

“You can’t resist me!” Charles calls out after her retreating figure. He swivels back to the computer he’s been charting on. It’s been three days since he decided Erik needs to grow a beard but the first time he’s been back at work, and the first chance he’s had to enact his plan.

“So,” Angel says, sliding into a chair next to him a few minutes later. “What the fuck do you want, Xavier?”

“So you and Erik talk…” Charles starts. Angel frowns.

“Ohhhh no. I am not getting involved in you two’s crazy. It’s bad enough that your crazy husband has taken to emailing me. I never should have helped him with the Valentine’s Day surprise. His only saving grace is his hotness.”

Charles pictures Erik last night, his mouth stretched around his cock. He smiles. Oh yes, his husband is quite delicious.

“Very hot,” Charles agrees.

“Jesus fucking Christ, Charles. Please get the Thinking About Having Sex with Erik look off your face!”

“Sorry,” Charles says sheepishly, feeling a blush climb up his cheeks. He can’t always help where his mind wanders. Then he grins at Angel and adds, “It was actually a Thinking About Having LOTS of Sex with Erik look.”

Angel rolls her eyes and starts to stand up. “I am not talking to you.”

“Coffee for a month,” Charles says quickly.

“All my code browns,” Angel says back. Charles makes a face. “And coffee for a month.”

“No code browns. I take your discharges today.”

“You work for me on Thanksgiving. You take my discharges for the next five shifts AND you buy me coffee for a month. All of that and I’ll consider what you’re asking.”

Angel crosses her arms across her chest and stares at Charles defiantly. Charles sighs. For a moment he wonders if it’s really worth it. Does he really want to miss a zany Sharon Thanksgiving this year? Especially with little Kurt in the picture. Then he remembers the look on Scott’s face…. Sex or family. Charles picks sex. Hopefully really good sex. “Deal.” Charles says, putting out his hand. Angel takes it and they shake.

“So, what do you want, Xavier?”

Charles takes a deep breath then very quickly says what he wants.

“I want Erik to grow a beard.”

Angel throws her arms up in the air and rolls her eyes.

“Seriously. Did I not say I do not want to be part of your crazy? Dare I ask why you want your husband to grow a beard?”

Angel crosses her arms across her chest and stares at Charles. Charles thinks for a long moment.

“The good of humanity? Don’t you think he’d be even hotter with a beard?”

“Charles….” Angel’s voice is low and full of warning.

“Fine,” Charles says, “I want to have sex with my bearded husband. But I can’t let him know because you know how he is. He’ll be unbearable. It’s just that Scott….”

“How did I know this had something to do with Summers?” Angel shakes her head. “Seriously. You are both children.”

“Adorable children who you can’t resist helping?” Charles says hopefully. Angel sighs.

“Fine,” she says, picking up the coffee Charles had bought her and taking a drink. “Tell me what I can do to help.”

Part one of Operation Beard involves Angel pointing out the hot new intern who has been gracing the fishbowl

“He IS hot.” Angel says. “Have you seen his ass?”

Charles blushes.

“Yes.”

“I’d let him sit on MY face.”

“FOCUS! You just need to point out his beard. Not his ass. Erik doesn’t need to think about anyone else’s ass other than mine.”

“Is it even possible for him to think about other asses?”

Charles pauses. He thinks about Erik and his ongoing obsession with Charles’ ass. There have even been times when Charles has admired someone’s ass then pointed it out to Erik and Erik has looked entirely nonplussed. Erik is not an assman, he’s a Charles’ Assman. Charles looks at Angel.

“No. Not possible.”

Part two is the Girl Power speech.

“Just tell him he should be able to do what he wants with his body.”

Angel arches an eyebrow.

“Really, Charles? You want me to be Erik’s Fag Hag?”

“You can’t say Fag Hag, Angel. You’re not family. But yes, I want you to be Erik’s best straight girlfriend.”

“Should we get mani/pedis?”

“I think he already does that with Hank and Raven….” Angel rolls her eyes.

“Will I need to say ‘girlfriend’ to him?

“Cliche much? Anyway, just tell him he should grow a beard despite my opposition. Make him think it’s his idea.”

“And then you get your beard?”

Charles smiles.

“Yes, then I get my beard.”

“You two are fucking insane.” Angel says, then mutters something in Spanish under her breath. She stands up and grabs her now almost empty coffee cup. “I should have made it two fucking months of coffee.”

Charles’ smile becomes a wide grin. He’s one step closer to Beard Sex.

 

* * *

 

The stubble appears a week later. Charles notices it at breakfast and asks if Erik is going to shave.

“Nah,” Erik answers almost too casually.

“Don’t you get itchy?” Charles asks, almost too casually as well.

“These biscuits are excellent,” Erik says quickly. Charles grabs one, splits it open and slathers it with butter. He smiles to himself.

“Yes, they are.”

 

* * *

 

 

At seven days Charles takes one for the team and forgoes a blow job.

“Nope,” Charles says, trying to ignore how much his twitching cock wants him to give in.

“I just love the the way your cock feels in my mouth.”

“You sound like a bad porn flick, except you forgot to end it with ‘bad boy’.”

“You’re so big….”

“Jesus fucking Christ, Erik, you know the rules. No blow jobs with a beard. And I’m average….”

Erik frowns a little at Charles’ words then says sincerely, “Far from average, Charles.”

Charles’ heart swells for a moment at his husband’s defense of his dick, and he briefly considers capitulating, but Beard Sex is out there and Charles must remain focused.

“Shave and I’ll happily fuck your face with my not so average dick.”

Erik lets out a strangled sound at Charles’ words. Charles can’t hide his smile.

“Blow me?” Erik asks after a long moment.

“Shave,” Charles responds succinctly.

Erik glares. Stalemate has been reached.

Erin takes in a deep breath, as if he’s about to retort then clamps his mouth shut and exhales noisily through his nose. His face is filled with disappointment and Charles can barely hold back a smile. Charles’ victory is tempered by the fact that his cock is now really hard from all the dirty talk.

Erik is about to turn away when Charles calls out his name.

“Yes?” Erik answers hopefully, turning to face Charles.

“We can still jack each other off, or something.”

“Yeah?” Erik sounds forlorn.

“You can use the butt plug.”

Erik brightens at Charles’ suggestion. A big grin spreads across his face.

“You mean the one…”

Charles eyes widen as he realizes his mistake.

“Erik...no…it’s going to...

“...your mother gave us.”

“...kill the mood.” Charles sighs. Why did his mother have to gift them sex toys?  


 

* * *

 

At nine days Charles gives in to the blow job. It’s part of his plan he tells himself, one hand gripped in Erik’s hair as Erik’s head bobs up and down, stubble scraping against Charles’ inner thighs in a not entirely unpleasant way. A strategic move he thinks as Erik buries a finger in his ass. All part of the game.

Yeah.

 

* * *

  

The beard grows in.

Charles has to admit Erik looks damn sexy with his ginger beard. At least better than Logan does. He reminds himself to casually point out Erik's beard superiority the next time Scott and Logan come over for dinner.

The problem with the beard is that Beard Sex doesn’t appear to arrive with it.

“He’s been tired every night, Raven.”

“Wait, so you actually manipulated your husband into growing a beard? Hold on.”

Raven sets her phone down and Charles hears Kurt start to cry in the background followed by the low tones of Hank’s voice as he starts to sing a lullaby. Charles smiles as Kurt’s crying slows. His sister and her husband are a great team when it comes to his nephew. Raven picks the phone back up.

“Hank has him. Where were we? Oh yes. You and Erik are CRAZY.

“It’s been four days,” Charles whines, ignoring Raven’s critique. Raven huffs out a laugh.

“Please don’t whine to a sleep deprived new mom about four days of no sex.”

“He says he’s working on the new ketamine rollout at work, but still….”

“Really, Charles.”

“I want Beard Sex.”

“Oh my god, Charles. Boundaries. BOUNDARIES.”

 

* * *

  
Three days later…

“You really should touch it.”

Charles slumps in the dining room chair and levels a glare at his husband. He can’t escape the feeling that somehow he has played the game and lost. At the other end Erik sits stroking his beard with his slender flingers while looking way too smug.

“No,” Charles says petulantly.

“It’s soft.”

“I don’t care.”

“Pouting doesn’t look good on you, dearest.”

Charles pouts harder. It’s been a full week of no sex, maybe the longest they’ve ever gone, and Charles is feeling cranky and out of sorts. This was not how Operation Beard was supposed to end, with Charles feeling frustrated and sulkish and his husband looking suspiciously triumphant. Charles pushes the rice pilaf Erik had made for dinner around his plate. It’s their first dinner together in a week, what with Erik working late every night.

“I talked to Scott, you know.”

Erik’s smug look is replaced by a frown. “Oh?”

Charles sets his fork down. It clatters sharply against the plate.

“Big rollout Erik? Taking all week? He said you’ve been doing very well on Bejeweled. Bejeweled Erik.”

Erik’s face remains blank.

“The ketamine rollout finished on Thursday. But you still had to work on it Friday?”

“Tying up loose ends.”

“And we haven’t had sex Erik. No sex for a week. You know, don’t you? You know it all.”

Charles can’t say more.

“Know what, Charles?” Erik’s voice is innocent. Too innocent.

Charles clamps his lips together and stares at his husband for a long moment. Erik’s face is blank, his eyes steady, but then Charles sees it, a tiny twitch at the corner of his mouth, the slight shake of those ginger whiskers. It’s a smile. A fucking god-damned smile.

“Is there something you want, Charles?” Erik says smoothly.

Charles can’t respond. He is almost shaking with outrage.

“Maybe a little something…”

Charles stands up and puts his hands on his hips.

“God damn it Erik….”

“...called Beard Sex….”

“Oh MY GOD. You are incurable. Horrible. I can’t believe this. How did you know?”

Erik smiles for real now, wide and triumphant.

“Angel didn’t follow the script quite as you expected. You told her to be my Fag Hag, Charles? Do you really think I’m that gullible?”

“I’m going to kill her!”

“And your sister begged me to just fuck you and stop your moaning. Sleep deprivation has made her quite blunt.”

“Raven too? Is there no loyalty?”

Erik shrugs casually. “I give good Christmas gifts, Charles. It goes a long way.”

Erik stands up, unfolding his long frame from the dining room chair and comes to stand next to Charles. He looks at him contemplatively then strokes his beard.

“Maybe,” Erik starts, stepping closer to Charles, “You would like to know how this beard feels brushing against your skin as I kiss my way down your chest.”

“Erik…” Charles’ voice is full of warning. He can feel the heat that Erik is radiating.

“Feel its softness against your inner thighs as I lick your balls until you can’t think straight.”

“Good god,” Charles mutters. “Stop…”

“Imagine what it will feel like when I eat you out…”

“Gah!” Charles’ breathing speeds up. His cock starts to swell. He tries to ignore Erik.

“And when you come, my beard will be so fucking dirty, Charles, filled with come and sweat…”

“Erik….” Charles whines. He’s starting to ache and his hips start to move on their own accord as he imagines what it would be like. His palms feel damp. After a week of no sex, he’s more than ready for some relief. Erik leans forward, his mouth hovering near Charles’ ear, his breath hot and he whispers.

“You can have it all, Charles. And more. I can’t tell you all the things I’ve been wanting to do to you. Jacking off for a week just isn’t enough when I have such a tight piece of ass at home. You just have to do one thing for me.”

Charles moans a little at Erik’s dirty words. He’s turned on, bothered, and would give anything to have Erik bend him over the dining room table, and fuck him with spit and precome only. Except he knows what havoc Erik being right will bring. He must resist. He must….

“What?” Charles asks, his mind muddled, unable to make sense of anything. “What do you want?”

Erik leans closer. His lips brush against the shell of Charles’ ear. Charles shivers at the contact. His words are low and rumbly and he sounds entirely turned on. Charles swallows.

“Say. I. Was. Right.”

The last word is accompanied by Erik’s tongue tracing its way along Charles’ ear and the contact breaks every bit of will Charles has been holding on to.

“Fuck! Yes, Erik." Charles hisses angrily through clenched teeth. "You were right. Now, for godsake, fuck me!”

 

* * *

 

Angel is waiting with her hand out when Charles arrives for his next shift.

“You betrayed me, you asshole,” Charles says, handing the coffee to his coworker. Angel smiles and flip her hair back. “You get your coffee but I’m not working Thanksgiving for you.”

“Your husband is very charming, by the way.” Angel chuckles. “Plus, you should have seen my Christmas gift…”

Charles glares at her.

“How long?” Angel asks, taking a sip of her coffee then glancing at Charles over the rim of the cup.

“How long for what?” Charles asks irritable, mentally debating if he should get Angel a better Christmas gift this year or cut her off.

“How long is he going to gloat?”

“He’s making me tell him how sexy his beard is every time we do it. It’s exhausting.”

Angel stifles a giggle.

“He’s having a photoshoot done of it.”

She snorts.

“He’s fucking calling Logan for grooming tips. I’m in HELL Angel. And it’s all your fault.”

Angel doubles over with laughter and a few other nurses at the computers turn to look at her, one rolling his eyes, as if not surprised to see that it’s Charles and Angel causing trouble again. When she can finally stop and stand up again, she throws her arms around Charles and busses him quickly on the cheek.

“You’re one good sport, Charles Xavier. I hope after all that the Beard Sex was good.”

Charles remembers the feel of Erik’s beard as he lapped at his asshole, how soft it felt as Erik nipped at the small of Charles’ back, and how it makes Erik’s mouth on his cock that much better.

“Oh no,” Angel says, staring at Charles, her eyes growing wide. “Ohhhh no! I never should have said something. It’s the look again.”

“The look?”

“The Thinking about Having Sex with Erik Look.”

Charles feels his cheeks heat up and knows he’s blushing. Yes, the Beard Sex was very good.

**~fin~**


End file.
